Each vocation is a mystery: each person goes through these stages differently.
Some will only go through the stages to discover the meaning of their lay life and others to find their priestly vocation.
1. The call
If you are in stage 1 you have recently experienced a call to give yourself to the Lord. This initial stage of discernment often occurs during childhood, perhaps at Mass, for example from religious, seeing Christians who love God radically, thanks to committed catechists, with your parents, in a Catholic school class or when a priest invites you to consider the priesthood.
This initial and mysterious attraction to give everything to God is mysterious. Becoming a priest, dedicating yourself to religious life, being salt and light among all people… It is even more mysterious because you have almost no information about vocation or discernment.
The main emotions are excitement and wonder: “Could God really be calling me to give myself entirely?”
2. The time of doubts
You think about it from time to time, but not every day. The idea comes up at Mass, when praying at night or when someone mentions it. But you think: “Surely it’s not for me,” “I don’t need anything else,” “I already go to Mass and pray a little”... “Being a layperson is not a vocation” or “I will marry like everyone else”
3. The moment of surrender
You realize that this call does not go away, even if you try. You give in and stop avoiding it. You begin to pray more, grow in faith and seek help from a spiritual director. Likewise, you find Christ in your brother and in those in need and open yourself to concrete self-giving to others. You begin to fight the spiritual battle of surrendering to God’s will; some days you win the battle and other days you lose. In this stage you discover a different peace, one that is born from deepening your interior life and bringing Christ into every aspect of your life. Here you learn to overcome fears: the fear of missing out, of not being enough or of being labeled a “saint.”
You may still not find peace and confirmation; you discover that your fears are about the priesthood or religious life: celibacy, loneliness, public speaking, being a good priest… you face them and feel the joy of serving God and others. Your desire to serve others grows and you experience happiness while serving.
4. Confirmation
You move forward toward giving yourself to God’s will. After praying, informing yourself and participating in retreats, you feel peace and confirm God’s call to leave everything.
Your spiritual director tells you that you have the signs and qualifications. The essential element is understanding that discernment cannot progress further outside the seminary or novitiate; you are simply going in circles.
5. Living the call.
You enter the seminary or the novitiate and live surrounded by others who are also discerning, and your life revolves around daily prayer, Mass, and serious study of the faith.
You had discovered God’s call to live as a layperson and you begin to notice who could be your partner, trusting in God. You start dating and live the courtship as discernment: prudent mutual knowledge and
It is the moment to consolidate your spiritual and vocational path.
6. Constant peace
You have been in the seminary for some time and have grown greatly in faith, prayer, and knowledge. You know Jesus personally and are ready to teach and serve. Now the hard work is daily, but you feel that you will surely be a priest and you know you can fulfill that responsibility.
If you are about to marry, you can also experience this inner peace that springs from living your vocation with commitment. You know Jesus personally and are ready to love, teach, and serve within your family. The daily work is constant: building a solid home, accompanying your spouse, educating the children, and living the faith together. You feel that God has called you to this mission and you know that, with His help, you can order all social life from within and transform the world through the love and self-giving of your family.