Each vocation is a mystery: each man goes through these stages differently.
Some will only go through the stages to discover the meaning of their lay life and others to find their priestly vocation.
1. The call
If you are in stage 1 you have recently experienced a call to give yourself to the Lord. This initial stage of discernment usually occurs during childhood, perhaps at Mass, for example through religious, seeing Christians who love God radically, thanks to committed catechists, with your parents, in a Catholic school class or when a priest invites you to consider the priesthood.
This initial and mysterious attraction to give everything to God is mysterious. Becoming a priest, giving oneself to religious life, being salt and light in the midst of all people… It is even more mysterious because one has almost no information about vocation or discernment.
The main emotions are excitement and wonder: “Could God really be calling me to give myself entirely?”
2. The time of doubts
You think about it from time to time, but not every day. The idea appears at Mass, when praying at night, or when someone mentions it. But you think: “Surely it’s not for me,” “I don’t need anything else,” “I already go to Mass and pray some”… “Being a layperson is not a vocation” or “I’ll get married like everyone else.”
3. Moment of surrender
You realize that this call does not go away, even if you try. You give in and stop avoiding it. You begin to pray more, to grow in faith, and to seek help from a spiritual director. Likewise, you find Christ in your brother and in those in need; you open yourself to concrete self-giving to others. You begin to fight the spiritual battle of surrendering to God’s will; some days you win the battle and other days you lose it. In this stage you discover a distinct peace, one that is born from deepening your interior life and bringing Christ into every aspect of your life. Here you learn to overcome fears: the fear of missing out, of not being enough, or of being labeled a “saint.”
Even if you do not yet find peace and confirmation, you discover that your fears are of the priesthood or religious life: celibacy, loneliness, public speaking, being a good priest… you face them and feel the joy of serving God and others. Your desire to serve others grows and you experience happiness while serving.
4. Confirmation
You are moving forward toward surrender to God’s will. After praying, informing yourself, and participating in retreats, you feel peace and you confirm God’s call to leave everything.
Your spiritual director tells you that you have the signs and qualifications. The essential element is to understand that discernment cannot advance further outside the seminary or the novitiate; you are simply going around in circles.
5. Living the call.
You enter the seminary or the novitiate and live surrounded by others who are also discerning, and your life revolves around daily prayer, Mass, and serious study of the faith.
You had discovered God’s call to live as a layperson and you begin to notice who might be your spouse, trusting in God. You begin to date and live courtship as discernment: prudent mutual knowledge and
It is the time to consolidate your spiritual and vocational path.
6. Constant peace
You have been in the seminary for some time and have grown greatly in faith, prayer, and knowledge. You know Jesus personally and you are ready to teach and serve. Now the hard work is daily, but you feel that you will most likely be a priest and you know that you can fulfill that responsibility.
If you are about to get married, you can also experience this interior peace that is born of living your vocation with self-giving. You know Jesus personally and you are ready to love, teach, and serve within your family. The daily work is constant: building a solid home, accompanying your spouse, educating the children, and living the faith together. You feel that God has called you to this mission and you know that, with His help, you can order all social life from within and transform the world through the love and self-giving of your family.