The vocation to marriage: total self-giving and holiness in everyday life
The vocation to marriage is a call to live an intimate, exclusive and definitive union between a man and a woman that reflects God’s love and participates in His plan of love. This union is not merely cohabitation, but a lifelong commitment, open to the transmission of life, where spouses are invited to holiness in the ordinary, both in their relationship and in the welcoming and upbringing of their children.
Marriage is, above all, self-giving to the other. In the total gift of self to one another, spouses learn to overcome themselves, leave selfishness behind, be at the service of the other, sacrifice and strive for their happiness. This gift of self is a sign of love for God, which will find its culmination in heaven. Each act of self-giving and sacrifice is a reflection of Trinitarian love: just as the Father loves the Son and both live in continuous giving in the Spirit, spouses learn to live in unity and openness to life.
Marriage as sign and participation in God’s love
Marriage has the mission to guard, reveal and communicate love, being a living reflection and real participation in God’s love for humanity and in Christ’s love for the Church (Amoris Laetitia, 67). This conjugal love is not reduced to affection or feeling: it is total self-giving, concrete in daily life and a path of sanctification. Each spouse becomes, in a unique way, a sign and instrument of the Lord’s closeness (Amoris Laetitia, 221).
Holiness is manifested in the small acts of love, generosity and fidelity. In the words of Pope Francis:
“There are many ways of being faithful to the style of life that Jesus proposes for each one… this holiness lived in marriage is a precious reflection of God’s faithfulness” (Gaudete et Exsultate, 14).
Marriage as covenant and sacrament
Marital consent is not merely a human agreement: it is a covenant elevated by Christ to the dignity of a sacrament (CIC 1601). It has a special grace, with threefold effects:
-
Perfection of natural love.
-
Confirmation of unity and indissolubility.
-
Sanctification of the spouses, according to the teaching of the Second Vatican Council:
“The Lord has been pleased to heal this love, to perfect it and to raise it with the special gift of grace and charity” (GS 48).
The “yes” of marriage means mutual, total and disinterested self-giving, in a union expressed in respect, welcome and mutual help. Marriage excludes selfishness, for each spouse ceases to be the exclusive owner of himself or herself and comes to belong to the other as much as to oneself. Personal identity is transformed by the relationship with the other, binding them “until death do them part”. This union of spouses is the most intimate that exists on earth, and is manifested in the reality of being “one flesh”.
A vocation in the fullest sense of the word
Marriage is entirely a vocation. Once the bond is created, it no longer depends on individual will, but on nature and on God, who has united them. The freedom of each spouse no longer refers to choosing to be husband or wife, but to living fully according to the truth of what they are: companions on the journey, collaborators in holiness and a living reflection of God’s love in the world.
Each marriage is a place of sanctification, a space where human love becomes a testimony of divine love, and every daily self-giving, every act of service and sacrifice, is another step in participating in Trinitarian life and in building the Kingdom of God on earth.