Discerning Priestly Celibacy
Are some of these thoughts yours regarding celibacy?
- “I really like girls!”
- “I have not always lived a chaste life. Can I still be considered for the seminary?”
- “I struggle with purity, so I'm not sure I have the holiness necessary to commit to celibacy.”
- “Celibacy seems like a life of loneliness… will I be happy being alone?”
- “I think I still want to be a father.”
The requirement of celibacy is, without doubt, one of the greatest sources of anxiety and fear for a man discerning the priesthood. This is especially true in a society and culture saturated with sex.
The message we receive from the media and culture is very clear: no one can be happy and fulfilled without a lot of sexual activity. But this simply is not true.
As Fr. Benedict Groeschel wrote:
"The media proclaim the message that sex brings happiness. If this were true, we would live in an earthly paradise and the world would be a 'happy valley'."
The good news is that God's grace can accomplish everything. By the power of Jesus' cross, a man can overcome sexual lust and live in peace within his vocation. It can be done. It is possible. There is much evidence.
For example, there are approximately four hundred thousand Catholic priests worldwide. The vast majority of them, at some point, thought or said things like those mentioned above. Well, those four hundred thousand are now priests.
God will never send us to a place where his grace cannot sustain us.
Even if you struggle with chastity today, God offers you the grace to become sexually pure. Do not let a worry about celibacy keep you from considering the priesthood.
Above all, it is important to understand that priestly celibacy is not about repressing sexuality, but about proclaiming that humanity's greatest joys are not found in earthly goods, but in union with God, in this life and in the eternal.
Celibacy in Sacred Scripture
Renouncing family:
"And everyone who has left houses, brothers, sisters, father, mother, children or lands for my name's sake will receive a hundredfold and inherit eternal life." (Matthew 19:29)
Freedom to serve:
"Are you free from a wife? Do not seek to marry... Those who marry will have troubles in the flesh, and I would like to spare them... The unmarried cares about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married cares about the things of the world, how to please his wife, and is divided." (1 Corinthians 7:27-34)
Celibacy for the Kingdom:
"Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those to whom it is given. Some are like eunuchs from birth; some have been made eunuchs by others; and some have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can." (Matthew 19:11-12)
The emphasis is on the special character of celibacy: not every man is suited for it, but it is a vocation that gives glory to the 'Kingdom of God.'
Frequently asked questions about celibacy
Is dating allowed while in the seminary? The seminary is like the engagement period for a couple: you do not date others if you wish to build a true relationship with the chosen person. Likewise, to truly prepare and discern the call to the priesthood in the seminary, one should not go on dates.
What if I have been sexually active in the past? Does that mean I cannot be a priest? No. But you must now be in the process of embracing chastity. Saint Augustine led a very disordered life in his youth, but he abandoned his impure ways when he decided to live fully as a Catholic. There should be a significant period of "sexual sobriety" before entering the seminary, normally at least two years.
I am afraid I won't be able to remain chaste. If you ask God, He will give you abundant graces to live a chaste life. You must respond to those graces by making chaste choices. As you grow in chastity and it becomes a habit of your life, you will experience strength and ease in living it. Celibacy is a serious commitment that must be at the center of discernment; it is not for everyone, but it is possible for those who are called.
It seems unnatural to me to live my whole life without sex. Most men and women are naturally called to marriage. Therefore, living a chaste and celibate life goes beyond the ordinary; it is, indeed, a supernatural call from God to live a radical love for the Church. Yes, it is a sacrifice, but the rewards are great. Throughout the centuries, many saints, religious, monks, nuns, and priests have lived very full and happy lives.
Why can't priests marry?
"I am very impatient with some of the pragmatic arguments in favor of celibacy—that it frees time and allows focus on other things. I prefer to see celibacy as an irrational, overflowing, poetic, and symbolic expression of the enamored soul." — Fr. Robert Barron
Priests of the Latin Rite renounce their natural right to marriage "for the Kingdom of Heaven," as Jesus taught his disciples (Mt 19:12). It is a gift from God that opens a man's heart to embrace all the children of God in a profound way. His healthy and holy inclination toward marriage and family is transformed into a supernatural fatherhood, which makes his ministry—if faithful—extraordinarily fruitful.
Other spiritual realities that celibacy signifies
- Celibacy marks the priest as a man consecrated to the service of Christ and the Church. It shows, concretely, that he is not simply someone who performs functions or holds an office, but that he has been transformed in his being by the sacrament of Orders.
- Celibacy configures the priest more closely to Christ, the great High Priest, who renounced earthly marriage for the Kingdom and to unite more perfectly with his heavenly Bride, the Church.
- It is fitting that the priest who offers this same Jesus in sacrifice to the Father, manifests in his own person (though imperfectly) the purity and holiness of the immaculate Victim.
- Celibacy reminds us of heaven, pointing to the coming of the Kingdom, when marriage will no longer exist.