Discerning Priestly Celibacy
Are some of these thoughts yours regarding celibacy?
- “I really like girls!”
- “I haven’t always lived a chaste life. Can I still be considered for the seminary?”
- “I struggle with purity, so I’m not sure I have the holiness necessary to commit to celibacy.”
- “Celibacy seems like a life of loneliness… will I be happy being alone?”
- “I think I still want to be a father.”
The requirement of celibacy is undoubtedly one of the greatest sources of anxiety and fear for a man discerning the priesthood. This is especially true in a sex-saturated society and culture.
The message we receive from the media and culture is very clear: no person can be happy and fulfilled if they do not have a lot of sexual activity. But this is simply not true.
As Fr. Benedict Groeschel wrote:
'> “The media proclaim the message that sex brings happiness. If this were true, we would be living in an earthly paradise and the world would be a ‘happy valley.’”'
The good news is that God’s grace can accomplish everything. By the power of the cross of Jesus, a man can overcome sexual lust and live in peace within his vocation. It can be done. It is possible. There is much evidence.
For example, there are approximately four hundred thousand Catholic priests worldwide. The great majority of them, at some point, thought or said things like those mentioned above. Well then, those four hundred thousand are now priests.
God will never send us to a place where his grace cannot sustain us.
Even if you struggle with chastity today, God offers you the grace to become sexually pure. Do not let a concern about celibacy keep you from considering the priesthood.
Above all, it is important to understand that priestly celibacy is not about repressing sexuality, but about proclaiming that humanity’s greatest joys are not found in earthly goods, but in union with God, in this life and in the eternal one.
Celibacy in Sacred Scripture
Renouncing family:
'> “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” (Matthew 19:29)'
Freedom to serve:
'> “Are you free from a wife? Do not seek marriage... Those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that... The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and he is divided.” (1 Corinthians 7:27–34)'
Celibacy for the Kingdom:
'> “Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. Some cannot marry because they were born so; others, because others made them so; and others, because they renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can accept it.” (Matthew 19:11–12)'
The emphasis is on the special character of celibacy: not all men are suited for it, but it is a vocation that gives glory to the “Kingdom of God.”
Frequently asked questions about celibacy
Is it permitted to date while in the seminary? The seminary is like the engagement period for a couple: one does not date others if one wishes to build a true relationship with the chosen person. Likewise, to truly prepare and discern the call to the priesthood in the seminary, one should not date.
What if I have been sexually active in the past? Does that mean I cannot be a priest? No. But now you must be in the process of embracing chastity. Saint Augustine led a very disordered life in his youth, but he abandoned his impure ways when he decided to live fully as a Catholic. There must be a significant period of “sexual sobriety” before entering the seminary, normally at least two years.
I am afraid I will not be able to remain chaste. If you ask God, He will give you abundant graces to live a chaste life. You must respond to those graces by making chaste decisions. As you grow in chastity and it becomes a habit of your life, you will experience strength and ease in living it. Celibacy is a serious commitment that must be at the center of discernment; it is not for everyone, but it is possible for those who are called.
It seems unnatural to me to live a whole life without sex. Most men and women are naturally called to marriage. That is why living a chaste and celibate life goes beyond the ordinary; it is, in fact, a supernatural call from God to live a radical love for the Church. Yes, it is a sacrifice, but the rewards are great. Throughout the centuries, many saints, religious, monks, nuns, and priests have lived very full and happy lives.
Why can’t priests marry?
'> “I am very impatient with some of the pragmatic arguments in favor of celibacy—that it frees up time and allows one to focus on other things. I prefer to see celibacy as an irrational, overflowing, poetic and symbolic expression of the soul in love.” — Fr. Robert Barron'
Priests of the Latin Rite renounce their natural right to marriage “for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven,” as Jesus taught his disciples (Mt 19:12). It is a gift from God that opens a man’s heart to embrace all of God’s children in a profound way. His healthy and holy inclination toward marriage and family is transformed into a supernatural fatherhood, which makes his ministry—if he is faithful—extraordinarily fruitful.
Other spiritual realities that celibacy signifies
- Celibacy marks the priest as a man consecrated to the service of Christ and the Church. It shows, in a concrete way, that he is not simply someone who performs functions or holds an office, but that he has been transformed in his being by the sacrament of Holy Orders.
- Celibacy configures the priest more closely to Christ, the great High Priest, who renounced earthly marriage for the Kingdom and to be more perfectly united to his heavenly Bride, the Church.
- It is fitting that the priest who offers this same Jesus in sacrifice to the Father should manifest in his own person (though imperfectly) the purity and holiness of the immaculate Victim.
- Celibacy reminds us of heaven, pointing to the coming of the Kingdom, when marriage will no longer exist.