Difficulties and breakups: when love also purifies

Loving is not always easy.
Every true love goes through moments of trial, doubts, wounds, or even breakups. But even there—in what hurts—there can be a call from God. Love, when it is authentic, not only makes one happy: it also purifies, teaches, and transforms.

The trials of love

In courtship, differences, disappointments, weariness, or fear of the future arise. Sometimes one feels they are not reciprocated as they expected, or that the relationship has cooled. This is normal.
Love is not a straight path, but a school where God teaches us to love beyond ourselves.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Difficulties can be a mirror where we discover our weaknesses, our selfishness, or our wounds. Instead of running from them, it is an opportunity to grow, to learn to forgive, and to trust God more.

When it’s time to let go

Sometimes, love is also purified in renunciation. There are relationships that are not called to continue, and discerning this with sincerity and prayer is also an act of love.
Breaking up does not always mean failing: it can be the most honest and courageous way to love. God does not bless just any relationship, but the one that leads us to holiness and true self-gift.

Letting go with peace is recognizing that the other belongs to God before they belong to us, and that happiness is not measured by keeping, but by loving in freedom.

“To love is to will the good of the other, even if that good does not include me.”

Healing with faith

After a breakup, there may remain wounds, feelings of guilt, or emptiness. But the heart is not made to remain broken: God can heal what seemed lost.
It is a time of silence, prayer, and accompaniment. Of letting grace repair what human love could not achieve.

The sacraments, spiritual direction, and friendship are medicine. The Eucharist sustains, confession frees, prayer consoles. It is not only about “turning the page,” but about letting God write a new one.

Love that matures

The trials of love are not an obstacle, but a purification. Mature love is born from pain embraced with faith. When it gives itself, forgives, and learns, the heart expands and loves better.

Therefore, even breakups can be part of the vocational journey: they help one to know oneself, to purify desires, and to be disposed to love like Christ, with truth and without fear.

To live it

Do not be afraid to ask for help: speaking with a priest or a spiritual companion can clarify much.
Do not idealize or close yourself off: Christian courtship is a path of freedom, not of dependence.
Do not quench hope: if God has permitted a wound, it is because he wants to bring forth from it a greater love.