Courtship as a vocation and a path of giving
Courtship is not a parenthesis in Christian life, but a true call to love as Christ.
Just as marriage is a vocation to unconditional giving, courtship is a time of discernment and maturation in love. It is the stage where two people get to know each other, discover one another and prepare to decide if they want to give themselves to each other forever.
A time of discernment and grace
Every Christian is called to holiness —including those who are engaged—. This time is not a pause, but an opportunity to grow in faith and virtue. Living courtship with God at the center means letting Him give meaning to the relationship: illuminating affections, purifying intentions and making love fruitful.
When a love draws you closer to God and helps you love others better, there is a Christian courtship. The more engaged couples love each other, the more capable they are of loving God, and vice versa.
“The heart was created to love. Let us therefore put Christ into all our loves.”
Learning to love
To love is not only to feel, but to learn to give of oneself. Courtship is a school of love where virtues are forged: respect, patience, generosity and fidelity. Small gestures —listening, yielding, waiting— prepare for a love that endures.
It is also a time to form and grow together. Reading, dialoguing, sharing concerns about faith and marriage helps to build on rock. It is important to be accompanied, seek counsel and learn from those who have already walked this path.
Living love with gentleness
Authentic love cares for and respects. Chastity is not a denial of love, but its protection. It teaches how to love without using, to wait to give oneself fully, to discover the beauty of the beloved person as a gift. Christian courtship is not measured by the intensity of desire, but by the depth of respect and the truth of commitment.
To love is to help the other become holy, not to be an obstacle on their way to God.
Joy, friendship and mission
Courtship is also a time of friendship, laughter and shared life. It is not about isolating yourselves in the relationship, but about opening up together to the world: serving, doing apostolate, living the faith with joy. A Christian couple not only loves each other: they are a witness to God's love in the midst of the world.
The strength of the sacraments
Couples who pray together, who go to Mass, who confess, who put God at the center, experience that their love becomes stronger and freer. In the sacraments one finds the grace to forgive one another, understand one another and grow in communion.
Courtship is, ultimately, a vocation to true love, an invitation to learn to love as Christ loves his Church: with patience, with tenderness and with self-giving.